HoboDrifter

It was a mild summer day in early June deep in the suburbs of Denver, CO (Littleton if you must know) when it finally struck me that summer was truly here.  It’s no surprise to the native or long term Colorado resident that it had snowed a few shorts weeks prior.  That craziness was now over (hopefully) and it was time to feel the push of summer in full swing. I had just finished a series of grueling physical feats to conclude my first triathlon (only a sprint but I went crazy on the training), when it dawned on me I needed another vacation.  Well, that thought actually popped into my brain weeks ago when I booked my ticket to San Diego, now I could focus on the fact that this amazing trip was nearing.  It had been about 6 months since I last set foot on Californian soil and I have to be honest, I was stoked to get back out to my former stomping grounds and make some bad decisions.  It was going to be a good friends birthday, which past parties had proven to be simply amazing and rambunctious in nature, how could I not be psyched?  So I packed up minimal goods (which I’m pretty good at by this point in my life) and hopped on Southwest flight 1135.

Upon touching down, I calmly remained in my seat as I joyfully gazed at the overly anxious passengers rushing to their feet as soon as the seat belt sign had been extinguished and the well known “ding” was blared like a starting gun.  Glad to see everyone get up in such a rush so they can be rewarded with a 10 plus minute wait hunched over in front of their seat carefully bowing their heads as to make sure they don’t plow them into the bottom of the now empty overhead compartments.  Good work.  Last one off, I head to pick up my bag and finally step outside to take a deep breath of the air I had been longing for… I felt home.  Before you know it I’m off to the new site in which the majority of my friends had decided to relocate, Cardiff by the Sea.  I made a quick stop to see some past co-workers, always great to catch up, then one more stop to pick up my ride for the week (thanks Brian and Maureen).  Now I was officially on vacation.

I had one week to get it all in and I felt anxious to say the least.  I tried my best to relax, so we hit the beach volleyball courts to shake off the rust of a year long v-ball drought.  Simply amazing to be back on the beach with the smell of the ocean, the feel of the sand between my toes and the always beautiful sunsets that never cease to impress.  Life is amazing in the simplest ways.

Now it’s time to get down to business, Brandon’s birthday party was nearing and we wasted little time gettin’ at it.  The first night was started off the only way I know how, with a bare foot two mile run to the bars with my partner in crime Matt.  Don’t ask why, just accept it as a fact that we do stupid fun shit.   We danced the night away with a few drinks under our belt as we always do, they proceeded to trek back home, with shoes on this time.  Birthday night was here and we decided a pub crawl in Pacific Beach was the only way to go.  Crush some drinks at Cabo Cantina, then head to Moondoggies and flail around like a bunch of idiots.  I finally get a random girl to by me a drink,  then proceed to casually turn around and walk away… sweet redemption.  Great times only to be topped off with my favorite late night treat, Yogurtland.  You can’t force great times like these, they just kind of flow.

The rest of the trip essentially followed suit and I was more than ready to get back to this paradise on earth.  Great friends that you fall right back into sync with no matter how long you’ve been apart, beautiful scenery (both natural and unnatural in various ways), and an atmosphere that I just seem to fit into more snug than OJ’s black glove.  So the question now becomes, why the hell aren’t I there right now?  Part of me doesn’t really know the answer, while part of me see’s it crystal clear.  I’d be going back to a place where I went to escape a life I didn’t enjoy 3 years ago, only to be running back again.  I’d be starting over in 2007 with a hope and a prayer (cause God knows I sold all of my worldly possessions to get to Europe) when the rest of the world and my friends had moved on to 2010.  It’s great to rekindle past experiences and friendships, but the time had come for me to reminisce about the great times then move forward to new challenges instead of running from them.  Call it growing up, call it being responsible,  or just call it what it is… life, it doesn’t wait for you, so don’t wait for it.  I’ve stumbled across a challenging new adventure in Colorado and instead of looking everywhere except right in front of me for an opportunity, I’m going to take a chance, put all my baskets into one egg (that’s more fun than eggs in a basket) and aim to make it back to San Diego on my terms.  It’s easy to look at all the things you don’t have or all the places you aren’t at right now.  Every time that thought pops in the old noggin I remember one of my new favorite phrases: Wherever you go, there you are

So I’ve taken my hobodrifting to a different level.  Instead of wandering all over the world (which was a blast), I’ve decided to keep it local in Denver, CO and share with you all as I wander through life in a more philosophical light.  You don’t have to be physically moving from one tangible destination to another to be a hobodrifter, your mind can provide you with all the unimaginable terrain you could ever want to explore.  Maybe this isn’t the direction you want to go, fine, don’t read on but I assure you a thought provoking adventure where the pictures I create cannot be posted to this website, but will be formulated in your own mind.  Of course I’ll continue to travel throughout this planet because I love to see all the variety it has to offer.  What I am creating now is a balance between what I can imagine and what I actually perceive.  As always you are encouraged to share your thoughts and stories.  Remember, these are my opinions, thoughts, feelings and ideas shaped and twisted by my past experiences in an attempt to stimulate any part of your brain to develop your own opinion about life.  I welcome you to a fun adventure that will often times be uncensored jargon from the depths of my cerebellum.  So if you gain nothing but enjoyment from my tales and crazy thoughts, then my job is done… but keep your mind open.

Prior to departing for Europe I had this idea in my head that all the questions I had in life would somehow be magically answered once I returned from my travels.  I wanted to discover who I was, what was it in my life that was missing? This was my chance to leave everything behind, then come back and pick up that which I loved and simply discard that which caused one too many headaches. Well let me tell you, it didn’t quite work out that way (does it ever really?).

It’s been roughly two months since landing back on American soil, and I couldn’t been more confused about who I was when I first landed.  Only now am I starting to find out more about myself.  The interesting thing is that it’s not the positive “self focused” qualities you would expect to uncover after a long journey on your own.   Such as, now I can travel and take on any task alone, now I’m more self-reliant, now I can do this and do that on my own.  My whole focus for those three months I was gone was how much I could accomplish by myself.   Looking back on it, that’s how the majority of my last 26 years on this planet have been.   If my foreshadowing hasn’t been obvious enough, the most important lesson I learned after thousands of dollars spent and 3 months of being away from home is that I AM SELF CENTERED.

Weird huh? After 13 countries, 2 continents, over 25 cities, a good size credit card balance and roughly 3 months I’ve come to this conclusion? If I had to be honest, that was the best time and money I have ever spent. It wasn’t obvious at the time, but life doesn’t care if you want to take a break and try to figure your life out, it’s an unstoppable force and by no means am I an immovable object.  I like that I can feel confident about myself and my abilities after going through such a incredible experience as a Europe backpacking trip, but there’s more to it…

My original intentions were to see the world, different cultures, unique architecture and expand my understanding of the world… which I feel as if I accomplished on some level. But those intentions quickly became muddled with an excuse to escape the challenges that were already present in my life.  So I wasn’t thrilled with my job, I was feeling stagnant in my living situation and the thought of settling down in one place for an extended period of time just freaked me out.  So I did what any self centered person would do, packed up and left, leaving not only my troubles, but loved ones behind.  I don’t regret going on my amazing trip, I just wish my intentions had remained pure, and the way I handled various situations before leaving would have been different.  Now I am living with the consequences that you never imagine would be so hard to live with.  I’m trying to regain focus, working on not talking so much and doing more.  Friendships and relationships change and it’s never too late to ask for forgiveness and make things right, so I’m swallowing a shit load of self-righteous pride and facing those challenges.  The bond you form with every person in your life is unique and I am finally realizing that it’s not everyone else’s fault when something goes wrong…  I’m just as big of an idiot as the next guy.  If you know me personally, then you know the relationship between my mom and I has never been Brady Bunch-esk, and if you didn’t then you do now.  That mother-son bond is one that is like no other and I have been holding on to teenage angst for way way too long.  It was all about me for such a long time that it’s easy to take for granted the unconditional love a family member supplies.  It’s been a long time coming, but I’m slowly learning to communicate, more importantly LISTEN, to what my mom and others I care about have to say.   I’m merely 1 of the 6.5 billion people on this planet, so if my trip wasn’t humbling enough that stat kind of puts things into perspective.

After all my rambling and personal stories, I guess all I wanted to say is that it’s not all about ME and it never will be.  No matter how much you plan for something, it’s your reaction and ability to adapt to the unexpected that creates all those small moments you will never forget.   Look back, were all of those moments by yourself, or with people that you encountered along the way? It’s great to be self-reliant and confident, but never forget about the people that genuinely love you and how they would do anything to make you happy.