I’m a little scared.
Maybe a tad frightened.
Should I go through with it?
Maybe I’ll just save it for later…
No, stop being a little bitch, sack up and just do it (not gay sex).
You should know that very few people have ever laid eyes upon my top secret stash of personal writings. So, after I share this short tale of personal insight with my loyal fans and faithful followers (all 10 of you intelligent and strikingly beautiful beings), the vault will be officially opened to the public for the first time!
Like zoinks Scoob!
With that said, let me preface this adventurous expedition into my soul with a quick message:
My Fear
I have this fear that the one thing I have come to love, undoubtedly the most powerful and fundamental aspect of human nature, the lone element that no one will ever be able to take away from me as long as a single breath remains in my lungs, will be forever lost due to a societal based apathy: the ability to think.
Various psychologists and researchers have conducted countless studies, all of which I find to be essentially worthless, stating the average human being has anywhere from 1,500 to 20,000 thoughts a day. Quite the range huh? That’s like the cable guy who gives you a window of arrival from 10 AM to 5 PM. Thanks a lot.
The decrypted message: we think a ton.
But what is it that you think about?
Are the outlandish characters of Jersey Shore dominating your thoughts? Or do you find yourself consumed by a fantastic novel you can’t put down? I’m not here to say you are right or wrong for categorizing yourself into the former or the latter; I just want you to be aware of how your brain power is consumed. It’s extremely easy in today’s society to let others do your thinking for you. But what fun is that?
That’s why I write.
That’s why I spend time alone – no music, no TV, no email, no phone – just me and my thousands of thoughts. I need a place for them to grow and flourish; God knows I won’t let them go to waste.
The piece of writing below is a product of my self-induced solitary confinement. I wrote this in a small notepad in March of 2010 while I was sitting in the front pew of a breathtaking monastery in Lisbon, Portugal. Quite a lot can go through your mind during a 3 month excursion through Europe. But rest assured you don’t need 3 months to dig a little deeper into your own mind.
Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to open up to others; we’ve never opened ourselves up to, well, ourselves. This isn’t psychological jargon or hippie bullshit. It’s an observational analysis conducted by an everyday simple guy.
So here it is. I’m opening the door into the confidential cranial matter of the HoboDrifter and letting you have a sneak peak. These are my thoughts, unedited and unaltered (view the original if you want proof).
Take from this what you will; love it, hate it, agree with it, disagree with it, send me hate mail or love letters, or just read it for fun. All I hope is that this little peak into my brain will intrigue you to dig a little deeper into your own. Never lose your unique ability to create genuine thought…
A Travel Revelation
Lisbon, Portugal on Friday, March 19, 2010
- Mosteiro dos Jeronimos (Jeronimos Monastery)
I don’t know if it’s the public persona or the true soul of the countless people I see wandering through tourist attractions (not excluding myself) that makes me pity mankind. I’ve fallen victim to it many times and will undoubtedly do it again in the future; the desire to fill an empty void by filling it with an even more empty experience simply to state to another human being that you’ve seen this or been there. Is it because you really desire to experience it, or wished to make those around you envious? It appears humanly impossible to fully experience every moment in life, just as it is to enjoy chocolate for every meal, nor are they healthy. I hope in my case they are only a means to differentiate the rather less important moments in my life from those that now take on a euphoric nature. Pleasure and happiness have infinite forms, all of which have a counterpart known as pain. To experience the severity of both, you cannot simply tip toe through life, but take chances with a full heart. Regardless of how many times it has come dangerously close to empty. Those moments of true sincerity are responsible for both emptying and refilling your heart, soul, and mind. My revelation, through no real intention, is to transform my outlook or lifestyle to empty and refill my soul as often as possible, not for the sake of others and their thoughts or impressions, but to live a life I will never look back on with regret or remorse. Not to prove a point or start a trend, but to eventually become unaware of my true appreciation for the world around me, in a sense that I will not need to continually remind myself to enjoy what I am doing or what is around me, it will merely be a natural reaction or subconscious state. Life is not, and never will be perfect, but I have experienced moments that are.
This is my hate mail. Honesty is the purest form of self-expression. Keep up the good work, you hippie.
Thus Spoke Zarathustra………
Dankeschön Zarathustra, I’ll continue teetering on the border of hippieism.
You are oh, so wise Steven John…..life is not perfect~but those moments that are??? The best life has to offer and are with you forever!
Couldn’t agree more, always great to hear from you Jill
Your thoughts about fundamental happiness pique my interest. It has been stated before that you cannot experience pleasure without pain, though the juxtaposition of the two never seem as fair as one would hope. The pleasure tends to get less stimulating, while the pain seems to feel heightened; desensitization of true happiness seems like the norm. If happiness could be documented in the DSM V, it would probably be a subsection under addiction. I have been told that staying on an even keel can help, but all it seems to do is make one apathetic. True appreciation comes in the form of your journey–spiritual, emotional, physical–understanding your role of human being. Think for yourself, question others, be strong in your beliefs, but never stop questioning. Keep drifting.
I like the statement “fundamental happiness.” Reading through the post once more I realized it stands out as the underlying theme. Any strong skill set or relationship begins with fundamentals. The beginning is always a good place to start. The idea of staying on an even keel is no stranger to me either, it seems to be how our society operates. I agree, apathy stems from the indifference one feels from continually staying within a baseline of emotions. Thanks for your insight Sum Guy, I love that you’re thinking! Keep’em coming and keep drifting.
Yes, my drifting into your neck of the woods last Friday was fun. Perhaps our paths will intersect again; be it in CO or CA, but the bottom line is we shall meet again.